Keeping up with reality

I MOVED!

2009-08-30T02:29:00.000-07:00

I MOVED TO HENKASHOUJO.BLOGSPOT.COM

THANKS!

Clock's ticking...

2009-05-19T01:19:00.000-07:00

Hickory, dickory dock...
the mouse went up the clock...
~ding! ~dong

okay, so it's a few weeks to go until school starts... Again.

Years ago, I actually detested the month of June knocking outside my room. it only meant one thing for me-School. I hated school. I felt and thought I was smart enough to face the world. and yes, I realized that I'm actually the stupidest person born in the universe.

I eventually learned to love going to school. I had reasons. one's money. two, friends. three, favorite teachers. four, because I don't want to be cooped up inside the house.

I prefer being in school than being inside the house. it's such a shame, isn't it? I guess i don't have much liberty being a family member.

Anyway, school is fun. I'm looking forward to the first semester of my second year in college as a psychology student.^^

Oh, a new manga to read!

Kaichou wa Maid-sama!

Ayuzawa Misaki is the student council president of the former all-boy school, Seika High School. In order to protect the girls, she battles the boys everyday. On the other hand, she secretly works at a "Maid Cafe". But a popular boy from school, Usui Takumi, found out! Living in between the double identity of a Maid and a student council president~What should we do Goshujin-sama!?

Takumi-sama is suuupppeeerr kawaii!^^

court of appeals

2009-05-16T00:21:00.000-07:00

I've grown.

No really, I've grown. Fatter, nosier, noisier, lazier, smarter, more sympathetic, more nationalistic.

heck. I'm not a Gloria Arroyo fan. Never is. Never was. Never will be.

I attended the International Solidarity Mission [ISM] last April 15 with Jessan and it was not what I expected. I thought it was about peace talks and whatsoever related topics. it was more critical and awakening.

okay, I admit. I cannot easily comprehend cebuano. I had a hard time. but FWIW, I tried to understand the main topic.

It was human rights violation and mining issues. I never understood such before. i always thought it was just a petty thing and actually never stuck my nose in related businesses. I hated being involved with too many people. I detested being forced to do things I didn't want to. I came there because I have to. Because I'm a member of such a student organization that advocates change through writing.

I thought of it before. why did I even join the publication? I write, true. but I'm subjective. i write for my sake. because it's a hobby. because I find security and joy in doing it.

And that day, I learned something. people in the area where being controlled by military forces. can you believe it? Aren't they supposed to be protecting civilians in the first place? Why are they scaring people away? Why are they threating households? why are they telling citizens to boycott GABRIELA, BAYAN MUNA, and the like? Is it because those party lists are communists against mining in that certain place?

The militay. They work for Arroyo. That's it. nothing more, nothing less. Money. Power. Position. That's all there is to it.

i didn't join the discussion. I just listened.

And learned a lot. That I have to expose the rotten system. that 30% of me likes to be of service to my fellows. That 70% of me is blinding my sight in front of reality. And more, That I feel overwhelmed when people say I write good. that my articles are good. That I'm good.

P.S. Jessan, thank you very much. You're such a friend.

Resurrection, II

2009-05-16T00:13:00.000-07:00

I've been away.
very long.
almost a month.
yet not very far.

I've been away.
stayed in my bed.
watched some flicks.
ate some chips.

I've been away.
Org activities.
Seen new places.
met new faces.

I've been away.
But not today.
i'm back.
Keepin' in track.

I miss this!^^

Cold

2009-04-20T01:06:00.001-07:00

okay... It's summer! and well, yeah, It's raining.

It's been raining for days...

I'm drowning...

I skipped summer class because of the summer job.

But the summer job didn't welcome me much.

all i do is go to school and enjoy the free internet.

distribute our school papers.

watch dvds till my eyes sore.

read mangas to my fill.

go to bed very early in the morning.

sleep till noon.

eat to my heart's content.

make videos in the office.

a big B-O-R-I-N-G life this summer.

ah, finally...

wee! a new manga to read!

High School Debut

Packed up

2009-04-12T05:46:00.000-07:00

okay.. so..
I've been packed the past week! wahahaha!
I've been out at early in the morning... why??

PARTYING!

yeah!

well, most of my batch mates are turning 18! debut here, debut there..so.. go!

18... the end of girlhood.

why is it so important? heck, dunno.

yeah, it's an all-black party for back saturday^^ the debutante's in white^^

okay.. regardless of what they might've said behind my back, I LOOOVVVEEE the way I looked that night!

chill

2009-04-05T22:55:00.000-07:00

okay.. so I got my grades *smiles*

perfect, just perfect^^

and the holiday' s cheer gave me and my high school buddies to customize our yearbook! wee!

oh, hehe. this is our college barkada's collage shopped by den-den^^

so.. I'm currently chilling out at den-den's house enjoying the free internet she offered. aihihi. She's taking a bath and we'll later go at E2 to meet up with Hareil, et. al. to finish off our yearbook.

my grandma fell down the stairs days ago. good thing the couch was there to save her^^

Earth Hour

2009-03-28T06:59:00.001-07:00

weiii!!!!!!!!!!!!

I stood for an hour infront of the roundball with a candle in my hand! yipee!
I'm an advocate starting this year.^^

Earth Hour is an international event organised by the WWF (World Wide Fund for Nature/World Wildlife Fund), and held on the last Saturday of March each year, which asks households and businesses to turn off their non-essential lights and electrical appliances for one hour to raise awareness towards the need to take action on climate change. Earth hour was conceived by WWF Australia and the Sydney Morning Herald in 2007, when 2.2 million residents of Sydney participated by turning off all non-essential lights.^[1] Following Sydney's lead, many other cities around the world adopted the event in 2008. ^[2]^[3]

Earth Hour is currently taking place on Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 8:30 pm, local time.

sides of life

2009-03-28T06:54:00.000-07:00

I attended a celebration. One was of natality. The other, mortality.

Grandma's nephew, kuya Junjun, started his life today as a married man. We were happy. He finally found the woman he wants to be with in his lifetime.

Mom's friend, whom she calls her "second father", died after we got home from the wedding. She cried, desperately. She didn't have dinner. She drank beer.

It's funny how happy we can be happy for a moment and be sad for eternity.

"You wait your whole life for a single moment, then one day, it's tomorrow."
-Deep Blue Sea

Goodluck kuya jun. May Uncle Mario's soul rest in peace.

~silence

Faster than a kiss

2009-03-23T05:54:00.001-07:00

After losing their parents, Fumiko and her brother move from one relative to another. Fed up with the constant moving, Fumiko decides to quit school and find a job to support her brother herself.
While she sits on the park bench contemplating her situation, she suddenly finds her teacher standing in front of her. Surprisingly, their encounter ends with a marriage proposal and her teacher's promise to support and take care of Fumiko and her brother. Is he serious or just playing around...!?

weiii!

I'm totally hooked on this. I'm waiting for Ouran chapter 70! wee! The Synopsis above says 'Fumiko', but her name in the manga strip is Fumino. haha! what d heck. Kazuma's super cute!!!

resurrection, I

2009-03-23T05:29:00.000-07:00

yehey... I'm back!

due to financial matters and time mismanagement, Alia is baaaaccckkk.

So.. how's it been? ME? SCHOOL IS OUT! finally! I'm really looking forward to summer! Why? SEE below^^

Summer job
High school buddies' sort of reunion
Isko ball
Enzz' 17th birthday
Jethro's 18th birthday
Kyra's 18th Birthday
Jen's 18th birthday
Niño's 17 birthday

and..... tarararararra...

A new HOUSE!!

weee.... the last isn't final though. The buyer's undecided^^

Nativity

2009-03-17T20:29:00.001-07:00

happy bithday hammer...

Drunk

2009-03-16T18:02:00.000-07:00

"When in doubts, one must drink a cup of Sake."

-Yukino

Sake (sa-ke) is a Japanese rice wine. Usually, it is drank by farmers and locals during celebrations.

So.. why did i put that up? because I'm drunk. i've been driven by my nostalgic thoughts away from reality. heck, I don't know. I've been feeling drowsy since last week becuz of this stupid cough and cold. I guess it brought out the thought of High school-yes high school. the last time I owned freedom.

college is neat-oh yeah! I'm having fun. my grades are smiling at me like never before and how proud my grandma is of me.

but for some reason, I feel like it's difficult for me to breathe. people have these expectations and I can't seem to tear myself away from it.

I know, rejection is my greatest foe.

By consoling myself with memories past, I felt unchained from my heavy emotions. I was an average high school student. Now, I'm an excelling college freshman.

Back then i could always sleep half-way during classes. Back then, I could chat with my seatmate and cheat during quizzes(Never exams! too risky!). Back then, I could find time to write nonsensical things if I'm tried of listening to the lecture. Back then, I could spend time with friends longer than I'm supposed to. Back then, I could crawl on my bed after a day's little work and sleep without ever worrying what comes next. Back then i can always procrastinate about important things and get it done before due time. Back then I can always smile after receiving my report card, even if it's glittering mediocre.

Now, I'm worrying if i'd ever get beyond that 81 grade in college algebra (i so hate math. and i uber suck). I'm hoping it would smile 85 by finals so I could still be in the Dean's List. I'm hoping grandma would understand if i won't be in the Dean's list for this sem. i'm hoping I'd find that sign-whether or not I'd shift my course. i'm hoping I could spend more time with my college barkada instead of flooding myself with paperwork. I'm hoping my groupmates could see that they're not the only ones packed with work, I am too. I'm hoping that people would stop telling me what to do, what to think, what to do next. I'm wondering if I'm worthy of the compliments my classmates are giving me. Now, I can't force myself to be happy...

Unlike before. (hiccups)

Late

2009-03-12T00:55:00.002-07:00

This is me. Pardon the late introduction.

In gundamspeak, I'm a natural-a person born normally, which obviously was born without technology enhancements whatsoever. I don't have these glittering blue eyes, silver hair, or a gorgeous body. All i have is all that i am.

without perfection, without liposuction, without nose-liftings, without fancy make-up or fab dresses, and without a doubt, I'm just your plain Alia armed with only my mind, my pen, and my hand.

My name is Alia Marya vi Britannia, which, is obviously fake. I hate my real name and don't bother asking me about it. Just call me Alia, that's good enough for me. I'm quite introverted yet you can't see that side of me much. You can see me lying down on the grassy field of the stinking-yet-useful Students' park (sometimes with RR, I think she likes it there).>>>>[me and RR] You can see me at the main canteen with Bryan or Gracelyn, Manilyn and Krisha Belle eating suman or babana cue. You might find me in the hallways laughing out loud with Barry, Cling, Talon, Jef, Par, and Silva while looking out for guys. You might find me too, at the library. That's where Andrei, Alexandrea, Hammer and I (me?) usually hangout, specifically, the deselection room.
<<<< andrei, alexandrea, me and hammer>
You might also find me tinkering the pc in our Omniana [publication] office(if not making articles, i'm printing mangas secretly or making anime music videos. Turn around and you might find me walking around Omar and Teston Halls looking for the USB 11 gigs. I might have gone to the BRH canteen with Krung, Angie, Bugoy, Kare, Rose Ann, May, Daggy, Tonton, Jade, and Arlou eating breakfast or heavy merienda.I may have gone to the John and fixed up my messy hair for the first time for the day. After that you can spot me back in the library's internet section browsing the net using someone else's school account. You might see me next to Jessan, who he himself, is using Aniversario's account. See me blog. See my thoughts. See my life. This is my kind of private life.^^ [Jessan and me]

On thoughts I live By:

"Don't try so hard to fit in when you're born to stand out."
-What a girl wants-

"As long as you don't trouble the rest of the world, there's no harm in being abnormal."
-Ichihara Yuuko-

"Love is just a temporary lapse of judgment, kinda like a mental illness."
-Suzumiya, Haruhi-

"Falling in love is incorrect."
-Mr. Abraham Contayoso

"Thinking is the activity I love most and writing is simply thinking through my fingers."
-I forgot-

wei!?

My 17th birthday gifts

2009-03-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

I dug up some stuff from my treasure chest and i found some neat stuff!

here's what i got from my birthday four months ago.

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nnwhXUP5HI
Chidori made this video!^^ wai! this is her!

2. Hammer's letter;

I brandished my wand in front of a stained mirror. i then switched it to a goblet full of dense liquid. i pointed my wand in my left temple and i pulled out a gossamer-fine strand out-that this, actually was a part of my memory. I put it on the goblet and start reminiscing the scenes. [Remember how Dumbledore showed Harry his past memories?] Far beyond the reach of my two outstretched arms, latest news on farthest star was known, Shakespearean dictionary, Einsteinian knowledge, kingly affluence, J.K. Rowling's magic and imagination, museums history and mystery, and far more worse than Nero's tyranny, Aslan's roar, Merlin's beard and my Alex Pettyfer's pulchritude, I gaped at the ferocity of the gaze... You entered the room silently [and stealthily like a sylph] and moments later you start conversing with *Alexandrea and Andrei and to me. that time, there was no special spot of light fixed. There was nothing special but knowing I'm having my first class in college. the moment's still unforgettable coz never in a mere nucleus of a bread crumb did i ever think you are sooner than a tenth of a second to be my friend. Remember how short the time knowing each other? When you first sat beside me at that very moment i said [to myself] that there's no fat chance to spend a rich expense of my saliva conversing with you nonsense and unutterable gobbledygook just to befriend you-that time i was still balancing if I'm going to be friendly or fiendish. i pulled out more memories and realized that it's a dumb sheer luck and destiny knowing you because you paved a way for my mouth to speak the unknowable, undesirable and pukable truth. thanx for helping me out. that truth-hiding is and was sucking the whole shit out of me. being in this stupid state of oblivion and quandary i summoned up remembrance of things past-past so dark, abysmal, mystic and cascadingly, inevitably ill. what impugnity and impertinence for me to do such things like snobbing you sometimes. even if i can't say how much I'm thankful having you as my friend I still have this sentimentality stuck in my heart... Maybe I'll try to work a heck of a little harder on our friendship to stay still... but i can't be that expressive... I'm introverted. But even if I'll work bloddy hard on keeping our friendship still, I still have a doubt that I'm not going to make it last-I'm no good at keeping things right.

Lots of love and kisses and hugs (and slugs),

Hammer

P.S. Catch you soon. Enjoy your birthday. And break a leg...

Arrivederci, Aloha, Ciao, Au revoir, Goodbye, sayonara, cheerio, paalam, Adios...

3. Siezah's Keychain^^ (she's in the middle at the back)

this photo was taken a day after my 17th birthday..=)

4. Jethro's [obligatory] penshoppe flipflops [I guess they made him buy them..=)] (He's the one in white)

5.Andrei's handmade letter^^ [me and Andrei]

6. Alexandrea and Hammer's Tamaki printed photos [they really love me^^] (alexandrea and Hammer)

7. edluv's reply letter^^

I'm gonna dig out some more... wei!

Note: * Alexandrea, Hammer, and Andrei are not their real names

Deceived

2009-03-10T23:41:00.000-07:00

This happened on March 9. names have been changed^^.

he told me they did "it."

I felt like barfing the moment I heard his squeaking yet sinister chuckle. his eyes were glittering and his lips remained red as apples on ice. I sighed.

"Did you really do it? you know, with him..?" I twitched.

"Oh yes. I feel so unclean now though, but i loved it." Hammer answered. " i wanna do it again."

"Oh, sick." commented Barbara.

"We kissed. not just those normal kisses. He said I was eating him out." Hammer laughed.

He smiled at me and I turned away. I never thought it'd get to this. How could he have done it? and with our kabarkada?? It was sick, indeed.

I asked the other party about it, Andrei said it wasn't true.

I texted Hammer:

He said you were lying...

NEXT Day...

"Alia, Hammer wants to give this to you." Che called. It was a sticker of the anime Code Geass.

La Lang... Nakita ko lang to sa ACE...

Now you know I'm a great liar! Hehe...

I love to fantasize 'bout things impossible to happen...

It's just that... I love him [really!]

Every color, every hue,

is represented by me and you!

Wish what i fantasize is true...

Truly loving, caring and fantasizing,

Hammer(-_-)zzZZ

P.S.

La lang... Nagdadrama lang...

to get my aphrodisia to next level...

Char char lang yung story!

was it so real?

Regardless of the damage done to my already-damaged-brain, I'm so relieved that nothing happened.

Poker Face

2009-03-05T04:07:00.000-08:00



Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah

I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas, please
Fold em' let em' hit me, raise it baby, stay with me
Luck and intuition play the cards with spades to start
And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got me like nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got me like nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be
A little gambling is fun when you're with me
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it's love, if its not rough it isn't fun

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got me like nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got me like nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

I won't tell you that I love you
Kiss or hug you
Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin
I'm not lying
I'm just stunnin'
With my love-glue-gunning

Just like a chick in the casino
Take your bank before I pay you out
I promise this, promise this
Check this hand 'cause I'm marvelous

Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got me like nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got me like nobody)

Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got me like nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got me like nobody)

Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got me like nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got me like nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)



not...

but i love the song^^

giving answers

2009-03-04T22:01:00.000-08:00

my friend ask me "yes or no?" 2 hours and 11 minutes ago.

i looked at him and raised a brow. he smiled.

"what the hell?" i retorted. "The last time you asked me that, i said 'yes', and you-you confessed that you're gay!" (narration, i'm not trying to offend the gays. i love gays^^).

"Just answer me."
"Yes."

poker face.
---------------

i really don't know...

how can i answer that fast without even knowing the question? was it right? what if i said no?
wtf..

makeshift

2009-03-04T21:44:00.000-08:00

i never made my mind up when i decided to take up a course in education. honestly, it was all because i had this attraction with my teacher. this could have been the supidest thing i made.

and in the process of studying, i found myself wondering if i'm really gonna be happy with this. do i really want to be a teacher? i can't even handle my siblings well.

so as it goes, I got my first 99 grade ever. General Psychology.

it keeps on ringing my consciousness, and i've decided to take AB Psychology next semester. along with this decision, i know i'll have to give up a lot of precious things:

College of Education
EDUC 127 (and i really wanted to read music notes!)
KAMAFIL (well, i never wanted to join anyway^^)
My friends (well, i ain't leaving them, we're still in the same school^^)
11 units of unaccredited subjects (wai! it was a waste of money!)

uhm...

seeing this... i don't really think i've lots to give up..^^

wai!

turning him around

2009-01-30T23:07:00.000-08:00

I've been labeled by my friends as the local brown version of snow white since i'm the one with the shortest crowning glory. All of us are princesses with our very own princes (imaginary.. all of us are single actually.) and my prince is charming.

Prince charming- the one who will save me from being buried in a glass coffin made my elves.

Of course, snow white died out of a bitten piece of a red, juicy apple from her stepmom disguised as an ugly old woman. My case is kind of different. I've been poisoned by my very own prince charming. The person who is supposed to smother me with love is the very reason why I'm rotting in awe.

Who in the world could fantasize a man named CHARMING? This actually is the very reason why the call me snow white- my crushes are all GAY.

Yes, my prince charming has eyes for his own prince. And what hurts more is that he's secretly telling me his love-love and platonic fantasies of his "theory" when I'm actually dreaming of my days with him.

he knows i like him. I've told him a couple of times and he laughed at the absurdity of my feelings. he said it was impossible. What a dope! he doesn't even understand to begin with.

I don 't know how long i'll have to put up with his ridiculous attitude. i don't know when I'll surrender to change his perverted mind. i don't know when I'll get over something too normal in me. (waH! na OC ako!) but i like him. so even if he keeps on avoiding this topic, one day, I'll make him regret saying that my feelings are crap.

Hajime-Begin!

2009-01-26T23:15:00.000-08:00

Hajime- the Japanese translation for the words 'start' and 'begin'

That thought just hit me the second i started making this blog. This is my first "real" blog after i tried writing down my thoughts on a piece of paper and transferring it to fs.

I don't usually make this things public. Most of them were intended to be read by myself and the rusty old sewing machine drawer I'm using as a study table. Sometimes, i let a couple of friends read it because they felt bored living life with an unending repetition of events similar to yesterday's accounts.

boring, indeed.

it might be also because of my incessant stereotyped life that i am using someone else's account in this flat screened samsung computer set in the university library, scanning through the web for new shoujo mangas to read, and writing this blog of mine for everyone to know that they're not the only ones with a humdrum feeling towards monotonous living.

I'm tired. I want to watch anime from dawn till dusk. I want to lie on my bed till my back aches without doing anything. I want to stay in school and chat with my friends and get good grades with less effort. I want to eat french fries dipped in ice cream sundae (though people found it disgusting). I want to see Johnny Depp in person. I want to hear people say how i've touched their forewretched(?) lives. I want to make a difference.

This could be the beggining. Hajimeruyo.

Dear me... If I want all of this to happen, I should stay awake.

^^