court of appeals

I've grown.

No really, I've grown. Fatter, nosier, noisier, lazier, smarter, more sympathetic, more nationalistic.

heck. I'm not a Gloria Arroyo fan. Never is. Never was. Never will be.

I attended the International Solidarity Mission [ISM] last April 15 with Jessan and it was not what I expected. I thought it was about peace talks and whatsoever related topics. it was more critical and awakening.

okay, I admit. I cannot easily comprehend cebuano. I had a hard time. but FWIW, I tried to understand the main topic.

It was human rights violation and mining issues. I never understood such before. i always thought it was just a petty thing and actually never stuck my nose in related businesses. I hated being involved with too many people. I detested being forced to do things I didn't want to. I came there because I have to. Because I'm a member of such a student organization that advocates change through writing.

I thought of it before. why did I even join the publication? I write, true. but I'm subjective. i write for my sake. because it's a hobby. because I find security and joy in doing it.

And that day, I learned something. people in the area where being controlled by military forces. can you believe it? Aren't they supposed to be protecting civilians in the first place? Why are they scaring people away? Why are they threating households? why are they telling citizens to boycott GABRIELA, BAYAN MUNA, and the like? Is it because those party lists are communists against mining in that certain place?

The militay. They work for Arroyo. That's it. nothing more, nothing less. Money. Power. Position. That's all there is to it.

i didn't join the discussion. I just listened.

And learned a lot. That I have to expose the rotten system. that 30% of me likes to be of service to my fellows. That 70% of me is blinding my sight in front of reality. And more, That I feel overwhelmed when people say I write good. that my articles are good. That I'm good.

P.S. Jessan, thank you very much. You're such a friend.