Drunk

"When in doubts, one must drink a cup of Sake."

-Yukino

Sake (sa-ke) is a Japanese rice wine. Usually, it is drank by farmers and locals during celebrations.

So.. why did i put that up? because I'm drunk. i've been driven by my nostalgic thoughts away from reality. heck, I don't know. I've been feeling drowsy since last week becuz of this stupid cough and cold. I guess it brought out the thought of High school-yes high school. the last time I owned freedom.

college is neat-oh yeah! I'm having fun. my grades are smiling at me like never before and how proud my grandma is of me.

but for some reason, I feel like it's difficult for me to breathe. people have these expectations and I can't seem to tear myself away from it.

I know, rejection is my greatest foe.

By consoling myself with memories past, I felt unchained from my heavy emotions. I was an average high school student. Now, I'm an excelling college freshman.

Back then i could always sleep half-way during classes. Back then, I could chat with my seatmate and cheat during quizzes(Never exams! too risky!). Back then, I could find time to write nonsensical things if I'm tried of listening to the lecture. Back then, I could spend time with friends longer than I'm supposed to. Back then, I could crawl on my bed after a day's little work and sleep without ever worrying what comes next. Back then i can always procrastinate about important things and get it done before due time. Back then I can always smile after receiving my report card, even if it's glittering mediocre.

Now, I'm worrying if i'd ever get beyond that 81 grade in college algebra (i so hate math. and i uber suck). I'm hoping it would smile 85 by finals so I could still be in the Dean's List. I'm hoping grandma would understand if i won't be in the Dean's list for this sem. i'm hoping I'd find that sign-whether or not I'd shift my course. i'm hoping I could spend more time with my college barkada instead of flooding myself with paperwork. I'm hoping my groupmates could see that they're not the only ones packed with work, I am too. I'm hoping that people would stop telling me what to do, what to think, what to do next. I'm wondering if I'm worthy of the compliments my classmates are giving me. Now, I can't force myself to be happy...

Unlike before. (hiccups)